The Key To My Happiness
by Emily Mellark
Summary: "I felt lonely, depressed, scared. I had finally realised that love doesn't just break you, it holds you together." When Peeta Mellark, Katniss' former acquaintance, steps back into Katniss' life again she doesn't think she can push him back out. She feels herself slowly falling as their bond increases and she's worried she won't be able to get back up. Modern day AU.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: All my stories are currently on hold. I feel as if they need improvement and I am going to try and improve every single one and continue them as soon as possible. If you read this A/N you get free virtual cookies (::) (::) (::) This just a prologue to give you an idea of what the story is about.**

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**The Key To My Happiness:**

_**Summary: "I felt lonely, depressed, scared. I had finally realised that love doesn't just break you, it holds you together." When Peeta Mellark, Katniss' former acquaintance, steps back into Katniss' life again she doesn't think she can push him back out. She feels herself slowly falling as their bond increases and she's worried she won't be able to get back up. Modern day AU. **_

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_Burn me with fire, _

_Drown me with rain,_

_I'm gonna wake up,_

_Screaming your name,_

_: 'We Remain'-Christina Aguilera (From 'The Hunger Games; Catching Fire' Album)_

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_Prologue__:_

I'm reading, sitting on the minute love-seat in the middle of the living area. If you can even call it that... It's coloured grey like the majority of my humble apartment. Though small, my flat certainly isn't cosy. It's almost lonely, like the shell of what could be the perfect home to share with someone.

I sigh as I adjust my position on the couch. I bring my bony knees up to my chest making myself as small as possible. Maybe if I am small enough I might disappear completely. I suddenly feel hopeful and hug my knees tighter in response.

Reading seems to be my current escape. Quite ironic really, to think that something that's used for peoples entertainment is what I use to pretend I'm somewhere else. To slowly fade away from the real world and fall into their worlds, whether it's 'hogwarts' with Harry, 'Dauntless' with Tris or the world of shadow hunters with Clary. It's escape, my own 'Secret Haven'. It's like matter how hard life is the books take you to places you've never been, meet people that never existed, give you emotions you could never imagine and teach you lessons you could never forget.

I wish I could live in their worlds, where you could do what you wanted and always fight your own demons. But, real life was different, it was harder and there certainly wasn't happy endings.

As my thoughts begin to wander, I place my current book on the mahogany table beside the sofa. I curl up into a tiny ball and wallow in self-pity as I try and forget the accident that changed my life forever all those years ago.

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_-Flashback-_

_"Mum I'm not going to that bloody party. Delly's so popular she's just gong to try and embarrass me in front of her peers! I don't want to go." This was a complete and utter, inexcusable lie. But, I'd say anything to get out of going to that stupid party._

_"Katniss! Language please!" She scold a stern look etched on her face. I mutter a small apology and she begins to speak. "You and I both well know that Delly is the sweetest, most tranquil girl you could ever meet. Now...Tell me the real reason." She demands her expression slightly softer than before._

_ Like hell, would I tell her the real reason. It was-well, it was because of him... Him being the blue-eyed bakers son that seemed to have the most loving, compassionate heart anyone could have. His stares seemed to make my legs turn to jelly and when he said so much as a 'Hello' I would freeze and suddenly be paralysed and not able to talk leaving me looking like an idiot._

_ I blush at her demand and try and quickly think up another excuse, looking left to right in a panicked frenzy. She gives me a knowing look and rest her hand on my small arm." It's a boy, isn't it?" She asks gently. I flush a bright scarlet and go into complete denial, ready to argue back, when she places a soft, manicured finger on my lips. _

_"Your secrets safe with me. Now you can stay at home, but just this once okay...Now, I love you but, we better be going." She says kissing my forehead and giving me the smile she reserves for me, Dad and Prim. I smile back and wide smile of gratitude at being able to stay at home._

_I head up to my room as they call out their 'Goodbyes' and 'Love you's'. _

_"I love you too. have a nice night." I say in reply and I mean every single word._

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If I could go back and change things, I would, I would have got into that car and I would have died too. When dad swerved out of the way of the motorbike that was heading up the wrong side of the road, I would have been there. I was supposed to be there, I was supposed to die. I wasn't supposed to be left in this world and spend the rest of my life alone.

I get up off of the sofa, in fear of falling asleep. Sleep brought the nightmares and the nightmares brought screams of agony and regret. I hadn't had a decent night sleep in the three years that had past since then. I rise from the couch and decide I need coffee. Now. I venture into the my cramped kitchen and am disappointed to find the coffee jar is empty.

Another trip to the shops.

I slide on my brown, cheap boots from Primark and adjust my baggy, grey tracksuit bottoms. I throw on my puffy coat and grab my keys. Ready to face the outside world.

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As I reached the old 'Walmart' just across from my apartment building, I shiver and begin the trek across the store to the food shop smells of new shoes and my nose scrunches up at the strength of it.

On my way to the coffee section I spot a packet of chocolate biscuits. I pick them up and shove them in the basket I picked up at the door. A little treat is okay one in a while.

When I spot the coffee I see that they're out of kenco. I sigh deeply as if this was life-changing. First world-problems right? I grab a jar of jar of nescaffe reluctantly and turn around walking straight into a broad man's chest. I begin to fall to the ground but am caught in his strong arms. I look up ready to profusely apologise but my mouth is left hanging wide open as I am met by the blue eyes I sometimes see in my dreams. His face is in a similar state as mine and his eyes are wide in shock. I am face to face with Peeta Mellark.

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**A/N:**** Katniss was 18, when the accident happened and is now 21. This was just a proloque but please R&R if you like the plot idea.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: The first chapter had 119 hits but 6 reviews...It would really mean a lot if you reviewed my story I'd like to know if you like it and I don't know whether to continue writing without the support. Also, I don't mind criticism it helps me know where I'm going wrong. **

**Oh and there's no song for this chapter, sorry. I couldn't find one that fitted. Any suggestion would be good and I may add a song in if I can think of one.**

**Now, on with the story:**

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_Previously on 'The Key To My Happiness':_

_When I spot the coffee I see that they're out of kenco. I sigh deeply as if this was life-changing. First world-problems right? I grab a jar of nescaffe reluctantly and turn around walking straight into a broad man's chest. I begin to fall to the ground but I am caught in his strong arms. I look up ready to profusely apologise but my mouth is left hanging wide open as I am met by the blue eyes I sometimes see in my dreams. His face is in a similar state as mine and his eyes are wide in shock. I am face to face with Peeta Mellark_.

If possible his eyes were even bluer than in high school and he's even more muscular. He had grown into a very handsome man and he was breath-taking. We stayed in that position for a few long moments in a trance. His arms were securely wrapped around my waist and I felt weightless as he held me in mid-air. His hair fell over his forehead in perfect blonde waves and he smelt like cinnamon. Was it weird that the feeling of his arms around me was so alien and yet I felt as if I was finally home?

And then, the moment ended. Staring at him as if he was an angel had turned into me stuttering like a fool, beetroot red and apologising. A light red grazed his cheeks as well as he looked at me, not knowing what to say. I pull away from his strong grip and stand wiping my clammy hands on my old, GAP Tracksuit bottoms. I must look a right state.

He had shoved his hands into his pockets, a cheeky grin overcoming his features. He still had that wretched dimple and I found that my eyes wouldn't leave that spot on his cheek. He was dressed in a plain white shirt and jeans. Over his shirt was a 'Hollister' hoodie and he was wearing paint-splattered 'Vans' upon his feet. His hood had fallen onto his head from when he leant down to catch me and he was looking at from under his long eyelashes, smiling his cute uneven smile. My thoughts were incoherant and muddled as he grinned at me. Damn that dimple.

"Katniss?" He says questioningly, looking at me as if he couldn't believe his eyes. His perfectly shaped eyebrows, arch in question and then furrow as he tries to work out if it was me. I shake my head slightly to bring myself back to the present.

"Yeah," I confirm, awkwardly, still staring at him. "Peeta, how have you been?" I ask him, my voice slightly stiff. As he lifts his hand up to scratch the back of his neck I caught a glimpse of ink on the inside of his wrist. A tattoo. As he brought his hand down, my eyes stay trained on it trying to work out what it could be. When placed by his side I could see it perfectly. A small 'K' was tattooed on his wrist, decorated with swirls and patterns.

My eyes suddenly burned with fire as jealousy coursed through my veins. He was never yours, I remind myself, and he never will be. It's funny how my feelings for him in the past still hadn't change, although I hadn't seen him for years.

I began to wonder whose initials were on his wrist. It wasn't necessarily a girlfriend or wife, it could be a friend? Yeah, I highly doubted it. My mind starts to wander and I, hurriedly, turn my attention back to him. When he realises what I was looking at he hurriedly pulls his sleeve down hiding my discovery. I suddenly feel guilty, I'm too nosy for my own good.

"I've been great...The family business is now mine since my father retired and that keeps me pretty busy. I have my friends... But what about you, how have you been?" He says in a bright tone and, as he speaks, I find myself wanting to hear more about him and his life. He holds my eyes and I feel under pressure with his intense stare on me.

"Okay." I say unsure. Even that was a lie. I couldn't really elaborate any more on my current position and I just looked down. I didn't even know how I felt, so what was I supposed to tell him. The tension in the air was almost tangible, with just that one word. I flush a bright red. Whenever I was with him embarrassment seemed to ensue.

He takes a deep breath and his eyes investigate my body. He frowns as he looks me over, from my feet up to my face. When his eyes reach mine he tells me.

"You don't look okay." I immediately drop eye contact how could he know how I feel when I don't even know. And when our eyes meet once again, it's as if he knows. Like he knows what I'm going through, how I feel, it's as if he understands. As realisation kicks in I feel vulnerable.

"Well, I have to go...Gotta pay for this." I begin to scurry off but he grabs my arm. When his skin touches mine I feel like my whole body is on fire. When he has my attention he pulls away quickly. Does he feel it too?

"Wait. Take this." He hands me a small card containing all his bakery details. On the card is a number, he points at it and looks down at me hopefully.

"If you need anything just call me, Katniss." His face shows concern and I take the card and head to the checkout. When I reach there he's still looking at me. As I look back again I feel like I have a chance. A chance to make my life better, a chance to not be alone, a chance to escape my pain.

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I'm currently buried in my purple snuggie, my legs splayed out across the sofa, staring at the small piece of card in my hand. I've been in a similar position all day, only moving to retrieve food or go to the bathroom. I was having an inner war with myself. My heart was telling me to call him but my brain was telling me other wise. _You don't deserve him_, I told myself, _if your family can't live then you shouldn't have a life either_.

I sighed deeply and began twirling a lock of hair, loose from my braid, around my index finger. It felt slightly greasy and I found myself not caring. Why should I try if there was no one to try for. I was wallowing in self pity and it was ridiculous.

A/N:** I know this is short but I felt like this was a good place to end. Please leave a review and if you have any questions I will answer them on PM. Thanks for reading and thanks to my reviewers. If you have any ideas for the story please leave a review and suggest them to me.**


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